As I reflect on the weeks of EQUIP Boot Camp, I stand in awe of the Lord. I saw His ministry of reconciliation at work (2 Corinthians 3-4) in a way like I never have before and it was humbling and refining.
There were many tasks before and during camp that I felt extremely inadequate to accomplish. I so desperately wanted my performance to be deemed a success that I began striving to complete everything in my own strength. My pride was evident and ugly.
But God broke me. The “I-can-do-it-all-by-myself” lie I was believing, came to a quick and messy crash. I needed help. I felt weak and dependent – which is exactly where I needed to be.
Though I was exposed and wanted to run, the Lord provided me with grace-filled believers who saw my heart in its true condition and loved me still. These friends gently pointed me to my Savior to sustain me in my weakness, continually reminded me of my identity in Christ (Eph. 1), and courageously fought the battle with me. They were the physical help He knew I needed to accomplish daily tasks and, in this way, the body of Christ, as described in Ephesians, had manifested itself in a way I had never experienced before. It was humbling.
By graciously revealing the ugliest parts of my heart– the sins that I had tried covering up with self-righteous deeds and the ones I was holding onto instead of letting Jesus redeem – He brought me to the broken place before His throne that I needed to be. He showed me my blind spots and is in the process of refining them.
The Lord used camp to show me once again how desperately I need the cross not only at the time of salvation, but in every single moment thereafter – even the seemingly “small battles” that I foolishly attempt to combat in my own strength. The depth of my depravity is more than I can comprehend and I need His grace more than my heart has truly believed. More than ever before, this refining has stirred my heart to praise Him for His steadfast love that bears with me when I choose my own glory over His. He reminded this forgetful heart (for the millionth time) that I am not self-sufficient – but I have a Savior whose grace is sufficient for me.
My heart is overwhelmed with gratefulness. I am thankful for a Father who loves me deeply enough to discipline me and continually save me from myself, for a God who provides other believers to exhort me and a Savior Who gives me the grace I need to walk and rest in for every moment. All of this was beautifully displayed through EQUIP Boot Camp and it brings me to my knees. I can’t believe that I get to take part in this ministry of reconciliation for the KING. I love Him more now than I ever did before and I can’t think of a sweeter gift.
If you don’t know Kiersten, you will soon as her energetic personality and infectious love will be evident in any interaction she has with you. She was a 2013 intern, continually brightens our summers with her presence, and has served full time with Transform Student since January 2016!