Suffering and Loyalties of the Heart


A few months ago, I found myself still struggling with an issue I thought I had already overcome. I tried ignoring it by convincing myself that I was fine. I subconsciously attempted to conquer it by my OWN will, and inevitably, I failed.

The hurt ran deeper than I thought. I persistently asked the Lord to remove the pain, but it didn’t come instantaneously like I wanted it to (and I like to think EVERYTHING should), and selfishly, I grew frustrated.

But God graciously brought me back to where I needed to be- humbly on my knees in complete surrender to my Savior. It reminded me of what Paul says in 2 Corinthains 12:9-10,

And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.   Therefore, I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong. 


My grace


The phrase “My grace is sufficient for you” in verse nine is in the present tense. The Greek word for sufficient is arkeō which means “to be possessed of unfailing strength, to be strong, to be enough.” This shows that God’s grace will CONTINUE to be our UNFAILING STRENGTH. No matter what persecutions, distresses, or difficulties we may go through, He will provide us with the grace we need to endure them. His grace IS enough.

Also, since those who are in Him are to no longer live for themselves, but for Him who died and rose again on their behalf (2 Cor. 5:15), what is greater than God receiving glory?? What is greater than our Savior’s strength being seen through our weaknesses??

I can’t say that I want to go back to that time of suffering, but I can say that I wouldn’t change one thing about it. It was there He revealed His love for me in a way I had never seen before. It was there He proved once more that HE is my strength. I had nowhere to go but to Him. I now see even MORE how DESPERATELY I need the Cross daily. I am so grateful the Lord loves me so much that He would take me through that difficulty in order to draw me closer to Himself.




As I compare the condition of my heart now to the way it was a few months ago, I get a lump in my throat. God’s grace healed my heart, brought me out of that trial, and into a place where I see His power even more. He has given me an overwhelming joy and contentment that could come from no one but Him. He has opened my eyes to truly see that I WILL rather boast about my weaknesses so that Christ’s power will dwell in me. I am weak, but HE is strong.

I am more in love with the Lord now than I was then (all thanks to Him), and I pray that tomorrow I will love Him more than I do today. Through it all, God has encouraged me that in whatever I face and I CAN rejoice. I can persevere because His grace IS sufficient for me. If my struggle can magnify my loving Savior’s redemptive power, than what a blessing and an honor I can consider it to be. For from Him and through Him and TO Him are all things.



Transform student Ministries

 Kiersten was a Boot Camper and counselor for many years before she became an intern with Transform Student Ministries. 

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